Purposeful

Who knew that I would have the opportunity to help somebody stop smoking pot so early on.
My housemate and I talk quite often, seeing that both get lonely and are the only single people in the house.
He usually comes down to see if I'm available to talk, and just share about his.
Sometimes I think what he says is stupid, and I have some doubts about his sense of humour.
He tells me some things that I feel like a person his age should already know.

And you know what? People I talk to probably think that about me too.
Like my Mom, she tells me that I'm stupid and that I need to grow up.
But she listens to me nonetheless.

I'm a leader in this relationship.
I took the opportunity to be assertive, and write down what we were talking about and show him some goals.
You're really conscious about being judged, then understand why.
You aren't sure, so I'll draw it out for you what it can look like tomorrow, literally.
You are making excuses, know that you are, and if you are committing to go meet my friends tomorrow, then pinky swear on it.

I put my utmost effort into showing him my views, without forcing it upon him.
I always gave him the opportunity to end the conversation, to voice out his opinion.
I used my own experiences, and conversations I have had throughout my university life.

I was able to be a leader who was able to be real, and be somebody whom I want to be like.
I want somebody in life who is willing to sit down and just takes all the time needed to focus and talk.
While I do not have a person who has been willing to do that with me right now, I will be that person in return.

That is so satisfying.
I realize that my life right now, is able to impact 1 person well.
Well actually, my life impacts a lot of people.

- - - - -

But I am glad to be useful.

Though for my own problems, I have had a huge drop in self-esteem for the past month.
I decided on taking care of my image more.
Planning to start shaving regularly, cause I have noticed more girls commenting on how they like it (wahaha).
Cut myself a new haircut, just shave my sides and have some cool bangs.
Oh, and maybe using some of that Old Spice shampoo will give me a little edge with the ladies.

Ah, it's not that healthy, but I'm looking to boost my self-esteem with compliments.
I'll play with this for now.
I need other ways to boost my self-esteem.