Something so obvious.

So I think somewhere along the way of learning, I have a.... nonsensical idea of liking somebody.

This girl I "liked".... Why did I like her?
Cause she accepted me for who I am, and was okay, even happy, when I was honest with her.

But this "like", I was convinced that we could get together and marry, start a family and work things out. Like legit, I thought that it could work out.
And maybe it could. But there's something wrong with thinking like this.

Well for one obviously, she probably has no intention of getting together with me.
Two, I don't exactly know her well.

But hey, you don't need to know her super well, you're never going to totally know somebody.
Yeah.... but I actually only met her less than a year ago, started talking 4 months ago....
But I was convinced, that things could work out.

Why?
What makes me so hopeful?

Well I don't know if this is an excuse right now, but I've talked to my Mom about relationships before and she told me something. Getting in a relationship needs a spark. That spark is related to the anticipation of getting closer to the person, and you lose that spark once you get to know each other.
Did I really believe that?
Or did I convince myself that it's the easy way out. Just gamble on a feeling and hope that it works out.

But that does not answer why I look for relationships.
I am constantly falling for people.

And I feel like it's alright to do that, I feel like it's something I should look for.
Wait, it should, but that doesn't mean the way I am doing it is right.

*sigh*
Well, I've thought about my past actions, now what shall I change?