Profiting

I never thought of it being a large part of myself, but I may be realizing that I'm really focused on that right now.

And why I want to profit in general is mostly because of identity.
I mean, the more skills I obtain, the easier people can identify with me.

Look at Marco, he knows how to dance.
Oh, he does Karate.
He goes out and volunteer with kids!
Why is he so critical?
And so upfront with his thoughts!

The more things I do, the more I seem to grow.
The more limits I see, the more I seem to understand myself.

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But what about God?
Would God be okay if I wanted to profit from him?
(and of course He'd be okay, as long as my heart is in the right place)

But when is it too much then?
Do I keep profiting, and profiting until I decide I want to give back?
Is it better to give back, when you've profited a lot?
Or is there never a point of profiting that can satisfy me?

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Maybe the way I am misusing the word profiting, and to better describe my thoughts is that I am trying to gain skills....
And also, utilizing those skills be recognized.
Cause really, if my skills and experience are not recognized, how can I compare with others and understand "Oh, so I am different in this way."

- - - - -

honestly, I can find a way to end a post.
maybe I am working my way back into posting.
maybe I feel like something is bothering me, and I can find it.
maybe I am feeling out how starting a sentence without capitals is like.

It's okay, it's okay.... I dunno, I like my capitals.