Getting into Social Work

I find it so typical for people to admit that they have trouble communicating with God when they are under stress.

I felt, that it was dumb. It's obvious that it's easy to forget about prayer when you are stressed, so if you aware beforehand, why don't you prepare yourself?

And as I started being a believer, I noticed that I cannot 'prepare' myself either.

Not because I did not try to prepare myself, but because I am lost.

I might not get into 2nd year of Social Work.

I told God that I wanted to get into my 2nd year, but I also told him that I don't know what was needed.

Does God need me to get into 2nd year? If not, is God telling me to go somewhere else?

Or maybe there is more to this, because I have the power of free will to affect the circumstance.

Mmph.

But I ain't suppose to know what God needs, unless God tells me.

And even then, there will be doubt, opposition, and misinterpretation.

What do I think?

From last month, I handed in my application for 2nd Year Social Work over 10 days late, and they still accepted it.

Now, I passed all my courses even though I only did 1/3 of the work I was suppose to do.

The summer course I need to take, is totally there for me. (I just found that out, after I was checked the list and couldn't find the course)

And it feels like everything is falling into place.

But 2 hours ago, I was thinking that maybe God didn't want me to go into 2nd year.

(And I still may not get into 2nd year, unless I get at least an 85% on my Social Work exam.)

BUT, the point is, I was thinking that maybe God was telling me that I should be okay with Him giving me 1 sign, and giving me another sign later.

Is that wrong, should God give me 1 sign and then give me another sign opposing the first sign?

Is God f-ing with my mind?

Wait, maybe God wants to give me a way out.

Maybe God does not want me to feel that there is no way out of being in Social Work.

So like in a game, you can make decisions and you can change the plot with an opposing decision mid-way through the story.

Hm.

I still feel wrong that I doubt God, until I get an affirmation of something like passing my courses.