What you may or may not already know.

Okay, I am serious.

Meaning that, this is going to about a (or another) serious topic.

Note that no quotations are around the word serious.

I, have what many other people consider a pornography addiction.

Boom, first thing that comes to mind is how admitting this to my blog publicly will affect my standing in people's eyes.

Well.... I can worry, but it would be unwise to get caught up in it.

- - - - -

WHY.

Why am I suddenly putting this up.

Because.... today I met a (retired) model.

Nice rack, face.... nice body in simple terms.

She came to my housemate's birthday party, and talked about her past modelling life.

She's 26 years old, she has a 5.... wait, 6 maybe.... year old child.

So she got pregnant at 19 and had the baby at 20.

Also, she is a single mother.

Now, I hope this paints a faint picture for my audience.

But what I noticed, was that she is 26 years old and the girls I see online, look a lot different.

Most noticeable thing, was her faintly wrinkly skin.

I mean, I know people age and they develop these things over time.

But look! WRINKLES!

Models don't get that much wrinkles when they're young!

Like, they're suppose to look HOT.

Wow, "they are suppose to look hot."

Very stereotypical and not all that true.

But I thought about the models I look online at.

Or for a more graphic depiction, looking models while having my hand down my pants.

The models' skin always looks perfect!

Like I knew that they were wearing make-up, but.... it never occurred to me HOW MUCH they wore.

AND.... think about the stuff I really get into.

Taking my pornography addiction confession to another step.

H-Manga.

Embarrassing to admit, but the first thing I fell into was H.

And I still go back to it, cause there are sites that update those H-manga daily.

As a matter of fact, oh last night....

But think man, think about what you are looking at.

Young girls, with a mature women's booty and bust.

Is that what you really want?

Really? A super deformed woman, who is drawing you into putting your hands in your pants every other day?

Why.

Like why do you think this okay?

....

Well let me ask you this, why do you think it's NOT okay?

Well.... one, it is taking up time where you could be doing some much more productive.

Especially, when you are SUPPOSE to be productive too.

Two, you are not necessarily doing it out of need, but for the pleasure.

See. There wasn't any life-threatening, evil, end of the world, whatever.... factor in this.

All you've come up with, is those things you've been telling yourself for the past 3 years.

THREE!

You are defiling the image of real women. Real women that one day, you are going to marry.

Instead of unconsciously burning that image of an ideal women, you can let your mind on the one that's meant for you.

REALLY?

One, you think you are going to marry.

Two, you don't know if you really burning some image of 'an ideal women' in your head, you might not be.

Argh!

I can't come to a proper conclusion!

Isn't this all perspective?

One may claim that not masturbating is a better choice.

But humans make bad choices all the time, why don't we just let this one slide?

Dude, this one can slide past soooo easily.

No one else will know.

- - - - -

Ugh, I really thought I was about to come to a conclusion to stop today.

But I failed again.