Last Day being 18

Well, I'm thinking about a list off things I want to say.

i) I thought about doing drugs at least once in my life because my experiences held back by the norm.

I still want to. I know somebody who has this really good smelling kind. And I want to know how it feels like being high.

BUT, I see something else even more rewarding. People say that peer pressure and it's easy to be persuaded into doing things your peers do. WELL, I could totally tell my future children that no, that is not true and I am a real life example.

ii) I am learning how to cook various things. Jared tells me that knowing how to cook will 'get me all the ladies'. And you know.... I think I stand a fair chance. XD

I have an ultimate dish in mind at the moment. How's this:

Potato stew, soaked in a beef broth that's takes 1 days worth of preparation, etc.

Now that I think about it, I've only got those 2 ingredients in mind. Not ultimate enough, but one day. One day.

iii) I'm growing my hair out, to a fairly lengthy samurai head. Did you know, that I'm actually developing Inuyasha sidebangs?

Of course I would be pleased with that.

iv) Did you know that your brain uses the most calories in your body? I remember that because L said it before. (not sure if that's entirely true, but I'll take an anime character's word)

But I don't think as much anymore. Did you know that people who socially awkward, such as me, tend to socialize through cognitive ways?

Yeah. Yeah that's me.

Did you know that our stress levels have a normal frequency, just like a sine wave?

Hit the top, and you get the person freaking about a bear standing in front of them.

Drop to the bottom, the person is now calming down and restoring his energy.

I'm thinking that I've been consciously trying to stay at the bottom most of the time.

Which is not healthy, because whenever I see a chance, I tend to release it and hit the top. Making myself go all freaky and giddy, and make seemingly perfect decisions and fail.

Anyway, I am more of the guy that's absorbing as much information as possible.

But less of the staying in my room, just thinking. And thinking. And thinking.

v) I honestly can't live by carpe diem.

I once did, because I saw that if I wasted today, it could be that last day before I killed myself.

But now, I feel like I am going to live forever

Sometimes I go into this trance trying feel the life in me.

And I fall out of the trance only to realize that this is MY BODY.

I CAN MOVE. Breathe. Pump blood. Think. See. Experience pain. Eat.

The body is so cool.

But the lack of carpe diem, makes me so lifeless.

I don't see a goal that I want to achieve.

If I can't find anything, I feel like I should go "might as well become worldly".

- - - - -

I've gotten myself into somewhere I didn't expect, but expect the unexpected right?

Well in my case, I expect that the unexpected will happen, except I don't know what.