Coffeehouse (2)

Why do these kind of things happen?

Was it because of God? Something within his plan?

Or was it because I just was horrible at portraying emotions?

Or maybe both?

But in the end, things worked out.

I don't know why I don't feel anything.

Things just felt like.... it happened as planned.

The last minute change of the script.

From talking for 2 pages worth of script, to non-existence.

I should have felt f-ing pissed.

Like no, I spent the past week memorizing and putting emotions into this.

But.... it felt natural. Like it was waiting to happen.

So I refuse to let my hesitation to hold me back and just let everything happen.

I am probably crazy.

Maybe the prayers I made were involved.

Everything....

Sleep comes now.

One of those thoughts that put me to rest.

Do I not see it being worth it? Should I be upset because the original plan was scraped last minute, even though the audience would get more from the night?

That said, I don't know if I am just keeping it suppressed.

Oh and for those laughing at my 'pain' face, I grimace. When I was young, I heard that smiling bring a chemical in your body to ignore pain. So when I feel pain, I 'smile' to trick this chemical reaction.