What if I want to achieve more?

Usually, I don't really have those feelings of wanting to "achieve more in the future".

Cause how do I know what is in store in the future?

But when those feelings come, either from watching a movie or hearing stories, I think about if I can be like 'them'.

Can I be like that person, who puts others first? To not just friends and acquaintances, but to strangers?

Can I be like that person, who talks to people he sometimes thinks as an 'idiot'? He wants to be a mentor,  influence people, and to have friendships that does not have himself thinking "what can I get out of this?".

But even if I see these people I want to be like, and seeing great things happening....

I want to achieve them myself.

I don't even know why I want it exactly.

Probably.... it's because I want to recognized as a good person.

But being a good person myself, doesn't include God.

I don't feel like praying to God when things arise, yet I see an ideal me that can rely on God like the people in the bible.

- - - - -

Oh, there's a series that showing right now on the History Channel.

It's a live series, called The Bible.

It's pretty good, and even though I'm aware that it's very possible that there may be little facts that are wrong (like do those people really wear war make-up like that?), it really helps me learn the bible stories, and allow me to imagine more about what those times are like.

And if you didn't know that about me, I really like visualizing things.

When I read a book, I want to visualize what the characters could be like, or what the author wants to them to look like.

And for documentaries, what they actually looked like.