What does this relationship look like?

Well, I'm thinking about this girl for the past while.

So what do I think.... No, rather, what do I worry about?

I worry about why would she want to be with me?
How would she benefit from me?
Cause I see a lot of things I could learn from her, but I don't see much stronger skills than her.

So when I have 1-on-1 interactions with her, I try to reveal as much as I can about myself.
This was quite different than my other relationships, since I always hold back a great amount of myself in order to be feel safe.
I wonder, how does that change this relationship compared to my other friends?
I tried my best to show her the aspects I deemed important, because I want to show her "You see me now? Do you really want to be with me?"

And I've been trying to read into her actions. I found myself always doubting, and that maybe she is just confused.
Cause really, I think it's hard for somebody to be with me.
I notice certain flaws of me that I imagine really hard to deal with.
And there's probably flaws that I haven't noticed yet.

And when I see her....
Wow, she's so strong.
Wouldn't I just drag down this woman who works so hard for what she believes?
What if her ability to make hard but good decisions, ends with her deciding that being with me was not worth it (several years down the road)?

- - - - -

But why is it so hard to remind myself that everything I do, should for God's glory.
So let's do this.
How does this relationship glorify God?

Well right now, I'm definitely not.
I'm aiming to please this girl, and my desire to feel safe.

So.... let's think of realistic actions.
Right now, I'm thinking about mentioning that I want to take the relationship to the next step.
The way we act around each other is awkward, and I think it's because I wasn't acting very natural.
We know a lot about each other, but we haven't built a relationship with each other.

So if I asked her "What does she think about me?"
And then go into reviewing what has been going on, clear any misunderstandings, and make it clear that I do intend to go about this relationship with serious commitment.

But what if she wants to continue this awkward interactions?
Maybe we'll still understand each other this way.
Hm, nah.

Well, I want to be able to take initiative in the relationship.
She has made it clear that her skills in 'building on', is stronger than 'initiating'.
So if I can initiate, and she can build on to it, wouldn't that be something good?

Cause I want to learn to have more initiative.
In more than just the romantic aspects, but throughout life.