Will this help?

If I ask myself: "Will this help our relationship?"

It convinces myself to say no to certain things.

Like gaming, looking at other girls, procrastination.

I'm talking about a girl-boy relationship though.

For some reason, when I was a kid, I felt that when I get married, everything will become alright.

And with that, it came along with dreams about my dream girl. Daydreams, fantasies, thoughts on the unlikeliness this girl even exists.

And maybe she exists, yet we are not meant to be together.

Or maybe it doesn't matter if she exists, if it's hindering my present relationships.

But I know that I have a tendency to look up to the person I want to be in a relationship with.

Something like, exaltation or worship.

Sometimes I just feel like turning that girl into Jesus, and that is wrong.

I feel like my goal should be to do everything I can to improve the relationship, yet I should have that mindset for God.

Oh.... well right now I need to study.

Hm, but if I study only because I want her approval, her expectations will rise while I won't be able to meet them.

So if we both put our faith into God, then that will not be the highest possibility.

Hm....