Going well with Uni Life

It is actually, going really well.

(well there is always one or two small things.... depends on what I call 'small' I guess.)

But yeah, life is good.

I've settled into my room.

Learning to get along with my housemates.

Waking up early for busing to classes.

Reading my books beforehand.

(hope that keeps up)

My new 'autoseal' mug is AWESOME.

Karate is really training my body (+ walking posture, XD).

I can usually go around campus and bump into somebody I know.

Very nice when there's an 1.5 hour gap between classes and have nothing but reading to do.

Little downers but....

My left ear's piercing got scratched somehow and needs extra care.

Judo club has been disbanded, though I probably can't go to many classes anyhow.

I think about my summer and acknowledged that I got depressed way to easily.

Not an excuse, but I knew that my 3 month game binge came from that.

I dunno. It was pretty big for me.

When this person (K) started opening up to me, and she's not too open you know?

I looked up to some of her interesting values.

I decided to take my chances and open myself up.

And then I took a wrong turn.

And I just kept going down from there.

I ran away from talking to her.

And after several months of revising a single email, I finally replied.

Only to not get a message from her.

Not see her for the summer.

And then I see her close friend giving me this look.

And whenever I came near this friend, she would deliberately move away.

Whenever I saw that.... well I don't know what she thought, but I saw that as a big 'FUCK YOU'.

And you know what?

My mind went berserk sometimes.

I wanted to scream at her 'Well FUCK YOU too!'

I was angry.

And I played it off.

And I got over it.

No, not by ignoring it.

Cause that doesn't solve the problem and ignoring something doesn't satisfy my anger.

I came to the possibility.

I told K I liked her.

I also told her that I liked her friend.

2 different meanings but she might have misunderstood.

What if K (after I didn't answer her) told her friend, that I might like her too?

Or something similar along to the lines of 'Marco is clingy to the people who care for him'.

And her friend decided that she didn't want to wear a mask while confronting me.

And they are both in Gr12, a time where 'fear of friends changing', 'wants to make this year memorable' comes into place.

Possible situation no?

Except I sometimes can't stand how her friend can treat me this way, and complain about university homesickness.

I was homesick and I felt like my wounds were being pecked at by her.

I got so angry.

Angry about her hypocriticalness.

About me not acting upon my instinct and decided to wait it out.

About doing something so dumb that made me lose 2 of the closer friends I have ever had.

Well this is just mere speculation.

Chances are, they didn't like talking with non-christians.

Or maybe my blog mentioned them before and offended them.

Or maybe they just can't stand my face and have to look away every single f'ing time.

Anyways, I don't even know how thing will end up between us.

During my more angry moments, I thought about breaking the relationship on my part.

To never talk to them again, other than 'How are you doing? -small talk- Later!'

But.... I'm giving it a last hopeful chance.

I'm scared of going back and seeing them.

Cause after I apologize.... they will likely to never talk to me again.