Really want to lie.

And say that I am satisfied.

One of my oldest goals in life was to find my soul mate.

Well I am attending my first wedding, and yet I have a feeling that it will not be as fulfilling as I thought it was.

I've prepared myself to hold back my feelings, but the whole point of that was for freedom.

There's no initiative, no feelings of success.

My goal at the moment....

I can't say one, without feeling disappointed.

Getting a black belt in karate?

Score a home-run in church softball?

To not drink until I am ready?

They don't satisfy.

I just sit here and call myself pathetic.

Sometimes I just want to succumb to peer-pressure and find satisfaction like them.